Friday, September 30, 2005


It's how we measure everything. "Waste of time", "time well spent", "have no time", "I don't have that kinda time". The funny thing about time is that it seems to change form depending on what your doing. "Times flying", "doing time", "time is standing still". But time never did a thing, it just kept on going along like it always does. Racking up it's seconds one after the other. Well all of this true except for the greatest time warp of all.
The microwave.
I contend that at the microwave time bends for no other reason but to screw with you. I have personally seen time go backwards while waiting for my food. I belive it once stopped while I was out of the room and picked up where it had left off when I got back. Whatever the case that molecule mixing box of hell has had it's last mockery of me. I now use the kettle for my hot water.
But now there is the whole question of watching water boil.


Perry P. Perkins said...

Of course, there IS no such thing as time. It is an invention of man to keep us from going insane at the uncertainly of our own mortality.

Our obsessive need to control, to delegate, and to define everything by OUR standard instead of allowing and admiting that we are in control of nothing and just as much flotsam and jetsam, driven by the whims of the natural world, as any other creature inhabiting this dirtball.

Wow, okay, no more Starbucks before 6am for me!


Jeremy said...

Read Catch 22.

There is a guy in there that takes part in things that make time go slower. Like going to meetings and things he hates just to slow time down because he feels that it goes by to quickly otherwise.

Good post.


Anonymous said...

So I'm sitting in a bathroom trying to drop a growler at the airport in Geneva, Switzerland. Every 30 seconds or so the light would switch off and leave me in the pitch black. I would then have to feel my way through the dark, open my stall door and wave my hands wildly until the motion detector saw me and decided to turn the light back on. After spending what seemed to be a half hour in the bathroom, I wiped and walked out of the bathroom swearing at all of Europe. It turned out I was in there for just under six minutes. Longest six minutes of my life. Damn the Swiss! Damn that bathroom! Missed you buddy!


resident of hell (Texas) said...
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Karate Explosion said...

i once witnessed a lapse in the time contuium...

Jeremy and others were played golf...

he turned around and said hey, then three seconds later his mouth moved...

I pooped on the golf course.