Monday, July 30, 2007


OK! This is a recounting of actual events the names have been UNCHANGED so that its funnier. I am not a genius by any stretch of the meaning, but I can tell you one truth in this world that you can set your clock to. What goes around comes around. AND! you can make the coming around speed up if you run your stupid mouth and put the JiNX on top of your already doomed reaping.

Last weekend Jeremy and I were working at a wedding and my nimble friend was trying to get a picture of some posing people and right before the shot another person jumped in. So he had to make some adjustments. In doing so he started to tumble sideways and almost ate crap. Fortunately I was watching the whole thing. And when he regained himself, and got the shot. He looked up to see his best friend pointing at him from across the room and laughing. Well a "discussion" started in the corner and ended with Jeremy cursing me that at a very important moment in my life he hopes my pants fly off.

All I do is Laugh...

Fast forward all of one day. My family and I and some friends from church go to a Single A baseball game in Roanoke. Everyone has a great time and we are leaving to go down and watch the kids run the bases at the big ballpark. I pick up the trash around me which I have on a huge tray and start heading down the stairs. Now remember that my ankle is still swollen and generally soar. (that is the excuse I am going with). I am to the last step before the landing when my foot snags I trip fall forward and throw all my food over the side of the rail...Onto an old lady. In-front of hundreds of people

All I can do is pretend I am hurt so that all the people around me remain only snickering under their arms instead of full on laughing. Here was the worst part. I am laying against the rail, the old lady cursing me and all I can see in my minds eye is Jeremy standing there and pointing.

All I do is Laugh!

Monday, July 23, 2007


Lets just kick this off like it wasn't months and months since the last post.
At this moment in time I feel like my grandfather giving his kids the rundown of all the ailments that are effecting him at this time and for the past 80 some years.

1. Sprained my wrist trying to slide into second in softball. (in quite possibly the dumbest decision on a baseball diamond ever...ever)
2. I needed a root canal...FOR 2 MONTHS!! (got it today)
3. May have a slight rotator cuff tear.
4. Last week i twisted my ankle playing sand volleyball.
5. I was schedualed for a vesectomy this week.

Thats right I never got it from before. I guess I have a hard time cutting up a perfectly good part of my body. But my wife has laid out the I went out back with 2 bricks and..not really, but the date was set.
But here is something that I didn't know till last week. They will not rob you of your manhood if you have taken any form of asprin! MEN WRITE THAT DOWN. So I sprain my ankle and take something for the swelling and "inadvertantly" save my twins life. But like a ninja my wife resceduled the unseakable event like it was a dinner date with Jesus. So I got a giant bottle of asprin next to the bed and have been threatning a headache. But as of the 12th I have been married to this great lady for 10 years. And that line of attack is not going to work. Frankly I fear her surgery by foot more than the trained professional.

So say a prayer for me, the guy in the elmers glue truck just drove by the house going 2 mph, pointing at his eyes with two fingers.