Monday, July 23, 2007

IF I WAS A HORSE I WOULD BE GLUE



Lets just kick this off like it wasn't months and months since the last post.
At this moment in time I feel like my grandfather giving his kids the rundown of all the ailments that are effecting him at this time and for the past 80 some years.

1. Sprained my wrist trying to slide into second in softball. (in quite possibly the dumbest decision on a baseball diamond ever...ever)
2. I needed a root canal...FOR 2 MONTHS!! (got it today)
3. May have a slight rotator cuff tear.
4. Last week i twisted my ankle playing sand volleyball.
5. I was schedualed for a vesectomy this week.

Thats right I never got it from before. I guess I have a hard time cutting up a perfectly good part of my body. But my wife has laid out the consequences...so I went out back with 2 bricks and..not really, but the date was set.
But here is something that I didn't know till last week. They will not rob you of your manhood if you have taken any form of asprin! MEN WRITE THAT DOWN. So I sprain my ankle and take something for the swelling and "inadvertantly" save my twins life. But like a ninja my wife resceduled the unseakable event like it was a dinner date with Jesus. So I got a giant bottle of asprin next to the bed and have been threatning a headache. But as of the 12th I have been married to this great lady for 10 years. And that line of attack is not going to work. Frankly I fear her surgery by foot more than the trained professional.

So say a prayer for me, the guy in the elmers glue truck just drove by the house going 2 mph, pointing at his eyes with two fingers.

8 comments:

What the... said...

I would still use you to plow the fields

Anonymous said...

I guess there's something to be said for a low sperm count, lol.

I've heard it's the worst pain a man can experience, but don't worry, maybe it will be differnt for you...

Okay, that was mean, I'm a bastard...I know.

-Perk

DrD said...

LMBO! The word verification for me to post a comment is, get this, HUMPIM. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Hey, is wasn't all the bad and the choice between that and sperm retention headaches cause the little woman threathened to cut you off in the sack - no brainer.

LOL. No brainer. I kill myself!

padre said...

snip snip snip ,,,aaarrghhhh its Dr Scissorhands ...is our hero doomed???

stay tuned

Oldhops said...

Well thanks for all the support, I can barley contain my joy.

DrD said...

I copied this and put it on another site. Got a whole lot more comments than you did.

el.diesel said...

hahahahahah... you sucker. welcome back.

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