MY BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER

Happy Birthday Parker.

I pray for you everytime I look at your mug.

MY BEST FRIEND JJ

YESSSSSSSSSS. I went to the DUKE game last night with my good friend Ryan. Who I must say orchestrated the best basketball experience of my life. YOU ARE THE MAN!

So there I sat 2 rows from the court surrounded by all tech fans, who kept yelling at the refs for everything. So after I had a few yell backs that got no reaction, I had to bring out the A game. So towards the middle of the second half I moved into action. Waiting for a quite moment. After tech missed more freethrows and the guys just got done yelling at the ref I said:

HEY REF IT"S YOUR FAULT THAT WE CAN"T HIT A FREE THROW! (this got an amused reaction from surrounding Tech fans)

A couple of minutes later after they yelled at the ref again, and it got quite I yelled.

HEY REF IT"S YOUR FAULT THAT OUR TEAM SUCKS AT BASKETBALL! (not so amused reaction, we are getting there)

And then last, after another ridiculous "hey you missed that call" at the refs. I yelled...

HEY REF! IT"S YOUR FAULT OUR BASKETBALL PROGRAM IS HORRIBLE! (ahhh yes the reaction I wanted, much grumbling) Also to which Ryan replied, "you are so not walking out with me"

and after a tech dunk on dukes point guard, the drunk behind us had one more genius bit of trash. Take that Paulis YOU SUCK!
Which I kindly replied too at 100 decibels and hands cupped over my face turning to him.

SCOOOOOOOORRRRRRREBOARDDDDDDDDD! (the fans no longer talked around us)

scoreboard indeed!

Hanging it out there!

Have you ever just hung it all out there? I mean everything. Your well being, the well being of those around you, your imagination, your ego, your self-confidence? I am hanging it all out there right now. And you know why. Because God told me too. That's it! That's why. Because the reality that throws itself up against what he has called us to do is so blaring opposite to what he has said to do. But I know he told me to do it. What choice do I have.

And you know what? I wouldn't trade it for anything. He has met every promise that He has given us. He has always been faithful. And I know that He has a path for me that will bring LIFE. Maybe not for me but for Him. I am willing. My Wife is willing. My Best friend is willing and his wife is willing too.

So we step out in confidence that the God of the universe directs our path.

Hanging in there, hanging out there.

It's still good! It's still good! -Homer Simpson

DON'T LET ME DOWN!!

I think that John Lennon must have been a sports fan, because only a sports fan could understand that line truly. There is no way that nasty hag of a legendary band ruining tramp Yoko could have brought on these types of feelings. As many of you may know and those that don't, you soon will. I love Duke Basketball. I also really like the Colts, and Redskins. But as everyone not living under a rock knows, both my football teams lost.

Fine OK FINE!
I still have one hope left for not being a fan loser. DUKE. They are at this point undefeated and on their way to having a great year. But that's not good enough. They need to get it done. They need to win it all, or I will fall apart like a cardboard box on a rainy highway.

All I am asking for is that my dreams aren't smashed and scattered over the world of sports THATS ALL. My wife is on suicide watch now every night there is a game on. For once in my life I had 2 winners. I was rooting for teams that had the potential to win it all. But much like A's in the hole I have been screwed. I am drawing on the river here, and all I'm asking this group of 20 year olds is DON'T LET ME DOWN!!

#2 in the series

WORD VERIFICATION

OK I will admit it, I have more than one time not been able to decipher the wiggly text that protects us from the invasion of penial enhancement ads.

Don't pretend that you haven't, I just wonder what will happen when I get it wrong 3 times in a row. Will it just flash RETARD and make me log out and log back in. "I'm sorry dunce that you can't read the wiggly jammed together words".
And here's the thing. I thought computers were supposed to take over the world someday and harvest us for our electricity. But little did those Son's of Motherboards know that all we have to do is write sqwiggly. I mean the war is over man, we can post all of our plans on billboards and they won't have a clue. They are so screwed, what do they have super strength, lighting fast reasoning ability's?....pashaw we have sqwiggly letters...

idiots

The Game is Dead to Me

I had read my friend Parkers post the other day about his favorite poker moments in the shed. For those of you who don't know what the shed was, it was a 14X8 foot sorry excuse for a building that housed the greatest poker moments of my life. The inside walls were covered in plywood, with playing cards stapled around the 3 windows. It was cold as hell in the winter, but we had Mr. Heater to keep as warm, and almost make us unconscious from his toxic fumes. We would smoke cigars until we had to open the door to vent the cloud.

In this reminisce about the shed it dawned on me that my favorite poker memories have nothing to do with the hands that were played, but the guys that I was playing them with. We once had a guy who had been grazed by a bullet show up for poker. And people sell books so they could play. We started everynight with Hank Williams Jr. On vinyl of course. We had characters there, guys you could set your watch to. Guys you could count on. We were poker before poker was cool. And all we had was an extention cord from the house and a light clamped to a 2X4 beam.

I write this to say I now know why the game holds no magic for me any more. The characters are gone.

So goodbye Pegg, goodbye Masterson, Parker, Corey, The Janey, Patrick, Furey, Samwise, River Phoenix, Skinner, Shane, and any other poor sucker we let in that joint.

Most of all goodbye poker...You are dead to me.

A PAIN IN THE FOOT

OK... We have all stubbed our toes before. I am not talking about the dingger, I talking about the kind where if your foot would have followed through on it's course you would have kicked a 45 yard field goal. The pain is so instantaneous that it feels like it was staging a preemptive strike on your nervous system. Like there are sensors down there that alert the brain to the certain dome of your big toe.
I want to talk about the worst two types of kicks and the natural reaction.

The first one is the "your moving quickly almost running and you just smash any of your toes into something low" This I believe is the most common and generally draws the common reaction which is to fall down or hop to something to fall down on, then you just hold it and try and pretend the pain away.

The second is what I feel is the worst. You again are moving quickly when you come in contact with a firm stationary object. But when you drop kick that mother your toes split on the object. Causing you to think of childbirthing, and that you COULD handle that pain,but this...this is just too much. The reaction to this is sometimes the drop, you know what I mean. Or my personal preference is the runaway. Where you take off from the scene of the crime like a felon hoping that the pain will be left behind. But alas it is not, which is why you spend the next five minutes staring at your toe,wondering if you could exist without it.

I often wonder why there is so much feeling in that part of the body, like a little nerve bank down there. Like all the nervous that should have been in your elbow skin and scalp are all down there in the very tip of your big and little toe.

For Your Amusement

Sometimes funny things don't happen to me, which in turn makes it difficult to write funny things down. Which is something that I like to do. I like to make people laugh, at almost any expense.
So I have tried to fill those droughts of hilarity with thoughts I've had or something that I've worked on. But alas that went over like a led balloon. I have discovered that I am here for your amusement. And the funny thing is that it's a cage that I have created. I need your laughs so bad that I can't stand to disappoint. And this is not just here on this blog, but everywhere. I need accolades like nobody's business.
But I have preconditioned everyone around me to think I am joking 100% of the time. So if you don't like something that I did in all seriousness I can say ohhh I was just joking. So I have decided to not worry so much if you like what I write or make. It's for me anyway...

...Well that's not true either.

quick somebody laugh, I think I'm gonna cry.