1. I was about 5 years old and at the house where we lived had two bathrooms. I just couldn't decide which one I wanted to go in. So I just kept running back and forth looking at the toilets. Until half way between both places my body had enough and made the decision for me.
2. I was in the 10th grade and was at the park 4 blocks from my house, playing basketball. Well I needed to go, but they needed one more player to make a game so I stayed. It was the longest game of my life so when I finally left I was in a bad way. So I did what we all have done. The walk where your knees don't bend and you just make forward progress by swiveling your hips side to side. I did this for 3 blocks. Stopping every now and then at a light pole to try and retract the monkey tail I was growing. Well I made it about 200 feet from my house and I thought "HEY I'M GONNA MAKE IT!" Well we all know that there is only one thing worse then telling an already strained sphincter that you are almost there. That is starting to undo your pants. The last 100 feet to my house was a dead sprint of waddling like a speed walking champion. I burst through the front door, past my dad on the couch, pants half way off. Into the bathroom where the toilet was behind the door. As I went in around the door I shotgunned the wall on my way to the toilet. I calmly reached up and closed the door and locked it. My dad came to the door and said "you alright?" "Yeah" I said. Then I heard snickering from outside the door. I guess I wasn't the first guy to wait too long.
5 comments:
one time when i was seven, i was having the time of my life swimming in the pool. all my friends were there and we were having a blast.
it became apparent to me that I had to drop a deuce. which was sad because i really did not want to go all the way inside to the bathroom...what if i missed out on some marco polo?
so i just decided i would stay in the pool. after all, my swimming suit had that netting stuff...so i pooped in my pants in the pool.
and if that does not top all pooping stories, then i don't know what does.
i did not just lie. at all.
I was once at a lake and let out a brown trout, and when it surfaced I fanned it away into a group of swimmers I didn't know. AHHHH passing the blame, how sweet it is.
Well I just wanna die, because I can't picture you as kids just as adults. It's like some sick nursing hime accident.
hahaha... it's not enough to bash me on my own blog anymore is it?? sonofa....
i pooped in my pants once...
just thought i'd share.
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