A Messy Divorce of Sorts

Ok so it's not really a divorce in the normal sense, between two married people. But a divorce of a different sort. VASECTOMY! That's right, my WIFE made the appointment and I held my end of the bargain and went. I have to be honest more kids isn't sounding so bad after this doctor visit. First off, while I waited, they gave me reading literature to look over. It basically spelled out every last detail, down to how to shave. I actually laughed uncomfortably out loud to myself several times. But I figured Ok I'm going to go talk to this guy Mr Chun and weigh some options. Well when MRS. Dr. Chun came in we went over the steps and how ice is my friend. Then there was the awkward checking of equipment. After all was said and done I couldn't get out of that place any faster. So as of right now there is no execution date set, but the warden has made her threats and I know that soon enough I will walk the green mile. But tonight at my house there will be much crying and whining about how I have always wanted 10 kids and that she is not respecting my feelings. My boys and I figure that may buy us another year together. If not I have a full tank of gas and a car running outside.

OHHH AND HOW!!

The other night a few friends and I went down to Roanoke to take pictures and go to the Texas Tavern. A seedy kinda joint that is open all night, and could easily fit in along the Boardwalk at Atlantic City. Well a hamburger with everything, which is lettuce and onions is 1.20. A hotdog with onions is, Yep you guessed it 1.20. Parker and I were hungry. So of course it turns into a contest. By the end I had eaten 3 hotdogs and 3 hamburgers, 2 cokes, a water, and the WORST cup of coffee I have EVER had. And I have had the free coffee at rest stops. I blame Pegg for that purchase. Well Parker was on the war path, so he had 1 hotdog 5 hamburgers, and a cheesy western. When I went to make my 1-up order he said that he would pay for my food if I didn't order more. He won. Technically. Needless to say, but I will, when I backed up to the bathroom the next day...birds fell from the sky.

SO WHAT'S INSIDE?

We have all probably heard our spirit life or being or our heart referred to as a house. Sometimes we need to let God into small areas that we may keep closed off and let anyone near. The reason I say this is because I have some issues in my life that throw up red flags as to what is inside some of my rooms. Judging by the some of the things that come out of my house, I would say that I may have a large room with high ceilings and a tramp-aline. Jumping on the tramp-aline are some seedy dudes. I want to evict these so called unwanted guests, but they are fun as Hell. Hmmm maybe that's the problem.

PURE 100% DISAPPOINTMENT

This post will not go the way you may expect. Yes I was bummed my team lost but something else came out of that event that I think will have a more profound effect on my life, mainly how I live it.

I think that all of us have probably at one point or another thought they were going to die. A car accident, a mis-step near something dangerous, or maybe even a threat from another person. I believe that these types of moments give you an in-sight on life that you did not have before. You now realize what you have in life, because of the hint of death. The moment may fade, but the memory is deep inside. Effecting the way you live.

I think disappointment is the same thing, but gives you in-sight into another area. When I say disappointment I mean pure disappointment. Where you have 100% given everything that you have to a certain cause or situation, thing or person in your life. The other night I watched JJ Redick walk off the court for the last time as a DUKE player. He had a horrible game, and was blaming himself for the fate of his team. And as he walked to the bench you could see the disappointment, the loss of that moment from his life. Dreams falling down. Everything that he had worked for since he was a kid, when at 6 he told his dad he was playing ball for DUKE. Pure 100% disappointment.

Now his dreams and goals may be different than yours but the idea is the same. I don't think I have ever experienced 100% disappointment, because I have never 100% given to anything. In turn I don't fell like I have experienced the pure joy that comes from giving your all and seeing it succeed, knowing what it feels like to fail. The thing about disappointment is that no one wants to ever feel it. So they do things only far enough that it won't hurt so bad if it doesn't work. This is not the right way. We are supposed to do what we are called to do 100%. Then no matter what you can hold your head high, knowing that you did everything that you could on that day.

As he walked to the bench, I couldn't even watch. I looked down at the floor in my living room.
I'm still afraid of disappointment

OK, so I thought I was going to die!

Let me start this at the beginning. I was having some mysterious beating of the heart for a few days. To the point that it was starting to concern me. So I say "hey" I think I should go to the doctor. So I do, and he does some stuff, then an AKG. And says there may be a problem. OK. I just figured I was a bit over stressed, but WHAMMM. So they send me right up to the big hospital for a MRI type of thing of my heart. This is where the story picks up for me.

Here I am in a dimly lit room with my shirt off, laying on my side left arm extended above my head, with a lady sitting behind me on the side of the bed jamming a camera probiey thing all over my chest. Needless to say this gave me pause for thought. No epiphanys or anything. Just me thinking about the chances of dying. I thought, I need to tell Joanna to give my dog to Sam, that will be one less thing for her to worry about. It was weird. I started thinking of my death as matter of fact. Maybe it's because I didn't really think anything was wrong with me. I know this because the women rubbing jelly all over my nips was telling me so. But also because as I laid there staring at the wall, Huey Lewis was telling me ever so softly over the ceiling speakers, that everything was going to be fine. God Bless you Huey. The heart of rock and roll IS still beatin, just a bit off rythm.

MY KIDS THINK I'M OLD

OK, so I'm now 31 years old. I can't say as I ever fathomed this day coming. Because when your younger you basically waste your time thinking about how your never going to get old. Or that it's some date in the future where you will get to, then time will stop. It is strange how your perception of time changes as you get older.

Thats when it hit me. I am as Old as my dad was when he had kids the same age as mine. OHHHHH DAAAMMMMMNNNN! I never once in all my existence thought of my dad as young. Cool, invincible, strong, yes. Young, NO! So there it is. I'm old and that's OK, it really is. I just wish I wasn't going bald.

To My Best Friend On Her Birthday

Smooth Walk

Slow Touch

Deep Blue

Warm Breath

Caring Curves

Calming Brushes

Loving Frown

Whispering Hair

Cool Glances

Best Friend

Words I wish I could Write

I have found myself often entranced by a well described scene. I will read something and the words seem to lift and move my imagination to where it would never have thought to go. I think that's why I like really good song writers, and lyrics that tell a story. Leaving me thinking...DAMN! I would never have thought of putting that word to that action. Here is the example that spurred this thought. By the way if you can tell me the singers who wrote these lyrics I will give you a big pat on the back. Pegg and Diddy you have to wait for 1 hour after reading to post to give others a chance.

"Moonlight sleeping on a midnight lake"

(Extra Credit) artist and song, and not very hard. "lights flicker from the opposite loft, in this room the heat pipes just cough"

AND HEY I want to give credit where credit is due. Rayna, a girl I knew what seems an eternity ago turned me on to the Beatles, so there that is.