OHHH AND HOW!!

The other night a few friends and I went down to Roanoke to take pictures and go to the Texas Tavern. A seedy kinda joint that is open all night, and could easily fit in along the Boardwalk at Atlantic City. Well a hamburger with everything, which is lettuce and onions is 1.20. A hotdog with onions is, Yep you guessed it 1.20. Parker and I were hungry. So of course it turns into a contest. By the end I had eaten 3 hotdogs and 3 hamburgers, 2 cokes, a water, and the WORST cup of coffee I have EVER had. And I have had the free coffee at rest stops. I blame Pegg for that purchase. Well Parker was on the war path, so he had 1 hotdog 5 hamburgers, and a cheesy western. When I went to make my 1-up order he said that he would pay for my food if I didn't order more. He won. Technically. Needless to say, but I will, when I backed up to the bathroom the next day...birds fell from the sky.

SO WHAT'S INSIDE?

We have all probably heard our spirit life or being or our heart referred to as a house. Sometimes we need to let God into small areas that we may keep closed off and let anyone near. The reason I say this is because I have some issues in my life that throw up red flags as to what is inside some of my rooms. Judging by the some of the things that come out of my house, I would say that I may have a large room with high ceilings and a tramp-aline. Jumping on the tramp-aline are some seedy dudes. I want to evict these so called unwanted guests, but they are fun as Hell. Hmmm maybe that's the problem.

PURE 100% DISAPPOINTMENT

This post will not go the way you may expect. Yes I was bummed my team lost but something else came out of that event that I think will have a more profound effect on my life, mainly how I live it.

I think that all of us have probably at one point or another thought they were going to die. A car accident, a mis-step near something dangerous, or maybe even a threat from another person. I believe that these types of moments give you an in-sight on life that you did not have before. You now realize what you have in life, because of the hint of death. The moment may fade, but the memory is deep inside. Effecting the way you live.

I think disappointment is the same thing, but gives you in-sight into another area. When I say disappointment I mean pure disappointment. Where you have 100% given everything that you have to a certain cause or situation, thing or person in your life. The other night I watched JJ Redick walk off the court for the last time as a DUKE player. He had a horrible game, and was blaming himself for the fate of his team. And as he walked to the bench you could see the disappointment, the loss of that moment from his life. Dreams falling down. Everything that he had worked for since he was a kid, when at 6 he told his dad he was playing ball for DUKE. Pure 100% disappointment.

Now his dreams and goals may be different than yours but the idea is the same. I don't think I have ever experienced 100% disappointment, because I have never 100% given to anything. In turn I don't fell like I have experienced the pure joy that comes from giving your all and seeing it succeed, knowing what it feels like to fail. The thing about disappointment is that no one wants to ever feel it. So they do things only far enough that it won't hurt so bad if it doesn't work. This is not the right way. We are supposed to do what we are called to do 100%. Then no matter what you can hold your head high, knowing that you did everything that you could on that day.

As he walked to the bench, I couldn't even watch. I looked down at the floor in my living room.
I'm still afraid of disappointment

OK, so I thought I was going to die!

Let me start this at the beginning. I was having some mysterious beating of the heart for a few days. To the point that it was starting to concern me. So I say "hey" I think I should go to the doctor. So I do, and he does some stuff, then an AKG. And says there may be a problem. OK. I just figured I was a bit over stressed, but WHAMMM. So they send me right up to the big hospital for a MRI type of thing of my heart. This is where the story picks up for me.

Here I am in a dimly lit room with my shirt off, laying on my side left arm extended above my head, with a lady sitting behind me on the side of the bed jamming a camera probiey thing all over my chest. Needless to say this gave me pause for thought. No epiphanys or anything. Just me thinking about the chances of dying. I thought, I need to tell Joanna to give my dog to Sam, that will be one less thing for her to worry about. It was weird. I started thinking of my death as matter of fact. Maybe it's because I didn't really think anything was wrong with me. I know this because the women rubbing jelly all over my nips was telling me so. But also because as I laid there staring at the wall, Huey Lewis was telling me ever so softly over the ceiling speakers, that everything was going to be fine. God Bless you Huey. The heart of rock and roll IS still beatin, just a bit off rythm.

MY KIDS THINK I'M OLD

OK, so I'm now 31 years old. I can't say as I ever fathomed this day coming. Because when your younger you basically waste your time thinking about how your never going to get old. Or that it's some date in the future where you will get to, then time will stop. It is strange how your perception of time changes as you get older.

Thats when it hit me. I am as Old as my dad was when he had kids the same age as mine. OHHHHH DAAAMMMMMNNNN! I never once in all my existence thought of my dad as young. Cool, invincible, strong, yes. Young, NO! So there it is. I'm old and that's OK, it really is. I just wish I wasn't going bald.

To My Best Friend On Her Birthday

Smooth Walk

Slow Touch

Deep Blue

Warm Breath

Caring Curves

Calming Brushes

Loving Frown

Whispering Hair

Cool Glances

Best Friend

Words I wish I could Write

I have found myself often entranced by a well described scene. I will read something and the words seem to lift and move my imagination to where it would never have thought to go. I think that's why I like really good song writers, and lyrics that tell a story. Leaving me thinking...DAMN! I would never have thought of putting that word to that action. Here is the example that spurred this thought. By the way if you can tell me the singers who wrote these lyrics I will give you a big pat on the back. Pegg and Diddy you have to wait for 1 hour after reading to post to give others a chance.

"Moonlight sleeping on a midnight lake"

(Extra Credit) artist and song, and not very hard. "lights flicker from the opposite loft, in this room the heat pipes just cough"

AND HEY I want to give credit where credit is due. Rayna, a girl I knew what seems an eternity ago turned me on to the Beatles, so there that is.

Watered Down

I normally don't write things that I don'’t think will at least be somewhat amusing. I also try to keep my posts short and sweet, but this may follow neither trait.

Something that has bothered me for some time is the watering down or diluting of Jesus, and Christianity simply for our own comfort and in that missing what God really wants from us. I'’m sorry if anything that I say may be offensive to you but...…well I just apologize.

Jesus is very clear about the guidelines that He puts in our lives. He has put them there not for our oppression but for our good. There IS a right and wrong. I am not about to tackle the whole gamete of what is right or wrong. If you want a fast test, take an OBJECTIVE look at your life and see what the fruit of your actions are. If your life is a pile of crap, or you are always mad at other people, or if you think that everyone around you is stupid. Maybe it'’s time for a real change. If you are an arrogant person, or a know-it-all, ask someone around you. Then you will get a real answer. That said, I believe that the number one thing that we are commanded to do by our faith is to love other people as we do ourselves. Putting others in front of ourselves, as Christ did time after time. But that does not mean that you can never say "“that is wrong you shouldn't do that"” to someone that you have a relationship with. The reality is that there are things that Christ has called us as Christians not to do. I know the cool way to make fun of someone who thinks like that is to call them a fundamentalist. But that doesn't relieve you of your responsibility. We don'’t need to be walking around judging people that is not what I am saying at all. But the idea of "“how can you say what I am doing is not right?" Well it'’s simple, because it'’s in the word of God. I get so sick of people saying your OK I'’m OK, and "“well that'’s OK for you". And that somehow in all of that there is some sort of Christianity. BULLCRAP.

The reality is that our society is totally set up for us to attain as much pleasure as WE possibly can before we kick it. We are completely self-centered. We are more concerned about being better than everyone around us than loving others. That'’s why parents don'’t put their children'’s needs before their own and straiten out their priorities so that they can lay down their life for someone else. Or spouses, first concerning themselves with their own needs and desires over their mate. The idea that we are owed something for nothing, that we should have what we want right now. There is no reason to refrain from instant gratification. If it feels good to me and isn'’t hurting someone else (directly) then I can do it. The reality is that no one wants to be told what to do or that what they are doing is wrong. But the thing is that sometimes it is wrong. And so in this Christianity suffers and becomes diluted so that no one is left out or feeling condemned. God does not want us to be condemned, that'’s why he has given us grace. But not the freedom to do whatever you want and say it'’s OK He loves me. Your abusing the gift He gave you. What I am saying is to stop making excuses for area's in your life that you just really don't want to change. Just admit that you don't want what God wants.

We have all probably read or heard of the book "Blue like Jazz", well here is my problem with that book. It is 95% true. He mainly tells us to get out there and love people don'’t worry about how they smell or dress or talk, and that is 100% right we shouldn'’t worry about those things, or hold back the love of Jesus because of them. But just because God has charged us with that kind of love for others, doesn'’t mean that He is not concerned with how we are living our lives. The reality is that there are things in all our lives that will kill us if we don'’t turn and face them. But pretending that it'’s OK or that from some weird angle it'’s OK to keep going, just doesn'’t line up with the word. I believe that you should only correct with love not from a pompous attitude or anger. But if you are the person who every time someone says you shouldn'’t be doing that, you freak out or have 5 reasons why they don'’t understand. You my friend need to hit your knees. God has given us grace. And there is no one person more deserving than another. Just because you do a bunch of things right and only a couple wrong, doesn't mean that Jesus doesn'’t still have to cover you in his sacrifice every day, so that you can commune with the most high God.

I guess the thing I want you to get if anything from all this ramble, is to love other people like Christ does. To not concern yourself with little things that make no difference for the kingdom. Don't be lured into meaningless "“Christian conversation"” that is fruitless in your life. If you are not constantly asking God, "“Lord what do You want to do in and through my life"”? Then you are missing what God wants and has for you. Plain and Simple. It is not about you, it is about Him. Think about how much of your day is consumed with the thought of how to take care of and please yourself. I'’m not saying that you should kill yourself in service. You have to love yourself, but others too. And I'm not talking about just your spouse or kids. I mean the people you don'’t like, the one'’s who irritate you. The ones who piss you off in traffic, and at work. God wants to keep you in constant growth and change. But many Christians have robbed themselves of this by creating the ability to talk and go in circles. But if your not changing and changing others, you are missing it. God has a great plan for each of our lives, but it takes constant death to ourselves. You will fail all the time, but the journey will be far more rewarding than ignoring it.

A good friend of mine said the other day, "“What kind of fruit do you get from an apple tree?, Apples. What kind of fruit do you get from a disciple tree? Disciples. What kind of fruit do you get from a Christian tree? Christians." ” Just go ask God, what does He want to change in your life to make you more of who has called you to be for Him. If you ask Him, He will show you. If you choose not to do it. Don'’t worry, you won'’t be alone.

SNOW DAY!!!!

I am sometimes reminded of my growing age in funny ways. The number of times that I sled the hill is the latest. I have noticed a steady decline in the number of times I am willing to stumble up a snow covered hill. I spend most of my time standing at the top of the hill looking down, wondering if one of the boys are going to plow over some other kid on their reckless abandon to the bottom. But I will say this about my growing age. I make the trips I take count baby!

And after a great run I usually spend some time laying there in the snow thinking ahhhhh this feels good. Then one of the boys throws snow down the one chink in my armor, and the other one jumps on my nads.

AHHHHHHHH SNOW DAYS!