22 too you Blacksburg Wedding Photography

TIES

2010-07-15T11:12:00.000-04:00

STAR SHINE

2010-07-09T12:50:00.002-04:00

SIDEWALK TREATS

2010-07-08T21:50:00.000-04:00

Muse Building

2010-03-25T14:43:00.002-04:00

Night Shots

2010-03-25T14:29:00.000-04:00

Pictures from Nicaragua

2010-01-21T15:40:00.000-05:00

The trip was great! It was such a blessing to be able to take my son to a place where everyone lives so much differently. Then on top of that to be at the orphanage and get to interact with such great kids. I think something that I will take away from all my travels but was evident again, is that no matter where you go, we are all the same. God kept us safe, especially on the 12 seater plane with 1 pilot asleep the whole flight. And more importantly we were able to show His love.
There are a bunch more pictures on my facebook. come on over and check them out.

2009-12-21T13:32:00.000-05:00

FLIGHT TAGS TO NICARAGUA

2009-11-19T08:57:00.005-05:00

For those who don't know. My 10 year old son Nash and I are on our way to a remote part of Nicaragua on December 27th. This will not be my first missions trip, but it will be a new experience for Nash. We are both very excited to work with the orphanage where we will be staying. We will also be helping with the medical clinic working deeper into the countryside.

I am taking some cameras with me and can't wait to show you some pictures and video. I am going to try and layout the trip for everyone as it goes, so come back for updates. Nash is really excited to make new friends. He's been studying and knows more Spanish than I do! (that is not really that big of a feat 8^).

If you could keep us in your prayers and hearts during the time leading up to the trip as well as our time there, we really appreciate it. Also for Joanna and Ethan who are not going with us, that they would have a wonderful time with family while we are gone. If you would like to help financially that would be appreciated too as we have a bit of money left to pay. If you have any questions or thoughts please shoot me an e-mail at forrester.aaron@gmail.com.

Thanks

Aaron

BIG E

2009-11-18T09:10:00.000-05:00

Blacksburg Virginia Photographer

RADFORD SUNRISE

2009-11-17T08:27:00.000-05:00

Photography, Blacksburg area Photographer

Sanchez! my other other son.

2009-11-14T14:26:00.004-05:00

Here the scary part..if you squint your eyes it looks like a small me!!

Blacksburg Area Photography, Wedding Photography

1 of the 2

2009-11-11T08:05:00.001-05:00

Photography, Enigma Photography

CAST OUT

2009-11-09T19:22:00.002-05:00

Photography Blacksburg Area Wedding

Film Fun

2009-11-05T16:35:00.001-05:00

Blacksburg Photography

Charlie

2009-11-04T14:26:00.003-05:00

Greatest Dog in the World

Photography, Blacksburg Virginia, Weddings, Radford

Jake lands on Columbus..Ohio

2009-11-02T12:21:00.001-05:00

Photography, Blacksburg area Photographer, Enigma Productions

FALL FUN!

2009-10-31T18:29:00.004-04:00

Photography, Blacksburg Virginia, Photographer

Art is Nude

2009-01-05T17:16:00.003-05:00

This was taken at the National Art Museum in DC. Where after going through about 2 exhibits Ethan said.."Why is everyone naked" So we skipped the French Masters and went to the Natural History Museum, where naked animals don't offend.

Wise Guys

2008-12-17T17:14:00.003-05:00

Hey!

It's been a while so let me give you the rundown. Normally I would write you one particular story about something in my life, but since we just got back from vacation I will hit you with a smattering. Please enjoy.

In the car on the way to vacation.

Dad: "what is that SMELL!?"

Nash: Not looking up from his DS nods his head up.

Dad: What is wrong with you!!?

Nash: "It's called Stinkability."

After sledding on the mountain for 30 minutes

Ethan: "my feet are cold"

Dad: "Why are you wearing moccasin Slippers out here?!!

Ethan: "the Indians did it"

You will notice the slippers in the picture of them almost running me over, for real that just missed my face.

Chip Off The Ole Block

2008-11-06T13:39:00.003-05:00

This was Ethan last week. Needless to say the other tooth went as well. He lost 3 teeth in like 1 week. He came walking up to me and said...

"Hey Dad, You know that movie Cars?"

"Yeah"

"You remember MAter the Tow Truck?"

"Yeah"

Then he just does that face above and says...

"DADDDDdddGGgggUMmmmmmmmm" then "My RAddiatatooorr IS SHoottt"

I think a little snot came out of my nose.

I did video it and may present that later on down the line, probably at his wedding.

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

2008-10-08T17:29:00.002-04:00

Ethan was at the CRU retreat where I spoke this weekend and the games rules said you had to get from one side of the field to the other with out being caught. The game was over, but they gave Ethan his shot. 40 College guys "trying" to tackle Ethan. The look of Fear and Joy are so closely related.

Time Passes Slowly

2008-09-19T12:56:00.003-04:00

Today on my friend Sam's birthday, many things begin to fall and shatter inside this little brain of mine. I start to think, when did this happen to me? What I mean is... these small pockets of maturity that seem to be rearing up around me without me having to directly think about them. Strange things are afoot indeed. I find it difficult to scare the crap out of my kids because of lasting effects. LASTING EFFECTS!! what the hell are those. It could be that I have a cold but I think it's something more serious. I think I'm getting old.

Happy Birthday Sam

The Old Lady and the Cat

2008-09-07T00:04:00.002-04:00

So the boys found some kittens that were left at a house down the street when the people moved out. I figure its already animal kingdom around here anyway...what the heck. Well the 89 year old lady next door has a few funny quirks.

1. She is crazy
2. She steals
3. She likes animals

She really is very sweet and I have not proven that she steals on purpose, although I am close to cracking the case. A few weeks ago my dog started growling at the side door. I look outside and the Old Lady is in our garden taking tomatoes. Then she scurries off around the fence and into her house. I think she is playing the "ohhh I'm soo old I don't know what I am doing" card. I bet she has cable and a flat screen.

Well anyways. She likes taking these kittens into her house. This was really bothering Ethan. The other day I was on my porch and she couldn't see me and I saw this unfold.

Old Lady: (While trying to take the cat out of my 7 year olds hands) "Do you want to hold the kitty?"

Ethan: "Mrs. Pillars it's our cat."

Old Lady: (Still pulling on the cat.)"Do you want to play with the kitty?"

Ethan: "Mrs Pillars thats our cat."

Ethan finally let the cat go and walked away while the old lady rubbed her face all over the cat, like a coke addict. Ethan walks up to the porch, right over to me and says. "Dad...you need to go set that old lady strait, she keeps taking my cat!"
So in my wisdom I said.."don't worry she'll be dead soon enough"

I didn't really tell him that,I only thought it. But the rest is true.

Who Am I?

2008-08-19T16:08:00.005-04:00

Photo by Pegg

The other day at Church the sermon was about our identity.

Stay with me on this.

I found out today that I wouldn't be teaching at RU this fall. I was an adjunct art professor, and I always knew that the position was tenuous at best. I had a great time over the past few years teaching, but there was something else going on. Aaron became Professor... Aaron got blurred, maybe not outside but inside. The other day at church brought the reminder to me that I am Aaron. Son of God and thats who I am, thats what I will always be. No matter what I do or accomplish or don't accomplish, I know who I am...

I am Aaron... a Son of God.

the next post will be funny I promise.

GO AHEAD (whats the worst that could happen)

2008-07-21T13:15:00.003-04:00

I was recently reading something that talked about Gods plan for our life. The writer made the comment that if you have Gods Spirit in you, and you are in a living relationship with Him. You don't need to ask Him what to do in every single little decision you make, because He is IN every single little decision you make. And if you stray he will come in and move on your heart, at those times you pause and seek the direction that He is giving. So go ahead...what the worst that could happen...you die?

Giving The Finger

2008-07-05T15:35:00.003-04:00

Sometimes my dad just gets bored with the same ole' same ole, so he goes and changes things up. He says to Mr. Boredom "forget you Mr. Boredom!" and salutes him with the universal sign of freedom. Sometimes though, the saw blade... I mean Mr. Boredom says "I think not sir...I think not."

Camera Computer Ink

2008-06-27T20:27:00.002-04:00

Kickin It Off

2008-06-25T23:26:00.007-04:00

Well I just couldn't take the pressure. Actually it just looked like everyone was having a good time.

Awhile back I was playing whiffle ball with Ethan and Nash, it lasted about 10 minutes then we just started throwing whiffle balls at each other. Naturally since they started it, it was my duty to shut it down. So I brought the heat. They are 7 and 9 now, they can take it. Well needless to say Ethan took a ball in the back, and fell down and did the SIISsssssssss SIIssssssssssss hissing sound that you make when things sting. I asked him if he was OK and he said "You threw that like 90 miles an hour" So I informed him that there was no way I threw it that hard, I said "maybe like 20 bud" And then he uttered pure wisdom. "Well in kid calculations it was more like 90...I quit"

Fun being 2D

2007-08-08T15:19:00.000-04:00

Well there is a site out there called

http://simpsonizeme.com/

That will allow you to find out what it's like to be yellow. I can't explain it, but it is very addicting. Check it out and let me know how it goes.

WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND

2007-07-30T08:02:00.000-04:00

OK! This is a recounting of actual events the names have been UNCHANGED so that its funnier. I am not a genius by any stretch of the meaning, but I can tell you one truth in this world that you can set your clock to. What goes around comes around. AND! you can make the coming around speed up if you run your stupid mouth and put the JiNX on top of your already doomed reaping.

Last weekend Jeremy and I were working at a wedding and my nimble friend was trying to get a picture of some posing people and right before the shot another person jumped in. So he had to make some adjustments. In doing so he started to tumble sideways and almost ate crap. Fortunately I was watching the whole thing. And when he regained himself, and got the shot. He looked up to see his best friend pointing at him from across the room and laughing. Well a "discussion" started in the corner and ended with Jeremy cursing me that at a very important moment in my life he hopes my pants fly off.

All I do is Laugh...

Fast forward all of one day. My family and I and some friends from church go to a Single A baseball game in Roanoke. Everyone has a great time and we are leaving to go down and watch the kids run the bases at the big ballpark. I pick up the trash around me which I have on a huge tray and start heading down the stairs. Now remember that my ankle is still swollen and generally soar. (that is the excuse I am going with). I am to the last step before the landing when my foot snags I trip fall forward and throw all my food over the side of the rail...Onto an old lady. In-front of hundreds of people

All I can do is pretend I am hurt so that all the people around me remain only snickering under their arms instead of full on laughing. Here was the worst part. I am laying against the rail, the old lady cursing me and all I can see in my minds eye is Jeremy standing there and pointing.

All I do is Laugh!

IF I WAS A HORSE I WOULD BE GLUE

2007-07-23T18:34:00.000-04:00

Lets just kick this off like it wasn't months and months since the last post.
At this moment in time I feel like my grandfather giving his kids the rundown of all the ailments that are effecting him at this time and for the past 80 some years.

1. Sprained my wrist trying to slide into second in softball. (in quite possibly the dumbest decision on a baseball diamond ever...ever)
2. I needed a root canal...FOR 2 MONTHS!! (got it today)
3. May have a slight rotator cuff tear.
4. Last week i twisted my ankle playing sand volleyball.
5. I was schedualed for a vesectomy this week.

Thats right I never got it from before. I guess I have a hard time cutting up a perfectly good part of my body. But my wife has laid out the consequences...so I went out back with 2 bricks and..not really, but the date was set.
But here is something that I didn't know till last week. They will not rob you of your manhood if you have taken any form of asprin! MEN WRITE THAT DOWN. So I sprain my ankle and take something for the swelling and "inadvertantly" save my twins life. But like a ninja my wife resceduled the unseakable event like it was a dinner date with Jesus. So I got a giant bottle of asprin next to the bed and have been threatning a headache. But as of the 12th I have been married to this great lady for 10 years. And that line of attack is not going to work. Frankly I fear her surgery by foot more than the trained professional.

So say a prayer for me, the guy in the elmers glue truck just drove by the house going 2 mph, pointing at his eyes with two fingers.

Natural Science History Museum in DC

2006-06-02T18:04:00.000-04:00

Here are some pictures from our trip to DC. Had a lot of fun. Even though I think I walked 45 miles.

ARMY SURPLUS STORE

2006-05-25T22:04:00.000-04:00

In my childhood there were few restraints. On one particular outing those restraints were pushed to the limit. My friend Dennis and I went to the army surplus store to buy crap, cause that's what 12 year olds do. So we bought a lot of useless trinkets that had probably saved someone's life once, but all and all it was worthless crap. Except for the trip wire. Just the mention of it makes me think about the things that I could do with it right now. Well that night we snuck out of his house at about 3 am. And terrorized the neighborhood. The usual potato in the tailpipe and writing with Kool-aid packets on concrete driveway's so when the dew comes out it is stained for life. (You should try it.) But the Coup de Grace was when we strung our trip wire between two mailbox's on opposite sides of the street. I'm not really sure what we were thinking was going to happen. But as we laid on our bellies in the yard dreaming of a tractor trailer driving by and ripping out the mailbox's. Our dreams were jolted by the sound of a motorcycle coming through the neighborhood. We went to take down the wire but it was no use. FAST back to the yard to watch this unfold. At this point let me tell you 1 thing that I am so thankful for. The fact that we strung that wire as low as we did, by about 4 inches, or this story wouldn't be as funny as it would be deadly. So here comes the motorcycle, he's going about 35 miles an hour and he hits the wire. Thankfully with his handle bars. To our surprise it held. He went from 35 miles an hour to about 1. 1 mile an hour. All we heard was twwwaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggg POP. As the wire gave way he popped a wheelie and came to a stop about 70 feet away. Looked around , revved his engine a couple of times thinking it was engine trouble. Meanwhile I went to find something to clean the crap out of my pants.

true story, except for the crap.

Last In This Series

2006-05-16T15:37:00.000-04:00

New Project

2006-05-05T13:18:00.000-04:00

Thank You GOD

2006-04-28T08:54:00.000-04:00

For always being enough no matter what.

Thank You for caring enough to teach.

I WIN!!!!!

2006-04-24T21:42:00.000-04:00

Alright I won but I kinda lost too.

Ohhhhh POOP!

2006-04-21T12:27:00.000-04:00

That's right everybody has a story about pooping. Some of us have several actually, but here I will only share 2 (tehe the amount seemed fitting)
1. I was about 5 years old and at the house where we lived had two bathrooms. I just couldn't decide which one I wanted to go in. So I just kept running back and forth looking at the toilets. Until half way between both places my body had enough and made the decision for me.

2. I was in the 10th grade and was at the park 4 blocks from my house, playing basketball. Well I needed to go, but they needed one more player to make a game so I stayed. It was the longest game of my life so when I finally left I was in a bad way. So I did what we all have done. The walk where your knees don't bend and you just make forward progress by swiveling your hips side to side. I did this for 3 blocks. Stopping every now and then at a light pole to try and retract the monkey tail I was growing. Well I made it about 200 feet from my house and I thought "HEY I'M GONNA MAKE IT!" Well we all know that there is only one thing worse then telling an already strained sphincter that you are almost there. That is starting to undo your pants. The last 100 feet to my house was a dead sprint of waddling like a speed walking champion. I burst through the front door, past my dad on the couch, pants half way off. Into the bathroom where the toilet was behind the door. As I went in around the door I shotgunned the wall on my way to the toilet. I calmly reached up and closed the door and locked it. My dad came to the door and said "you alright?" "Yeah" I said. Then I heard snickering from outside the door. I guess I wasn't the first guy to wait too long.

"JJ Drinks His Own Pee"

2006-04-20T09:26:00.000-04:00

He doesn't really, but he said that was the funniest sign he had ever seen in his time at DUKE. I got to go to an appreciation dinner for JJ last night at the Hotel Roanoke. The county of Roanoke declared April 19th JJ Reddick Day, so adjust your calendars accordingly.

Two things stuck out in my mind last night. The first was how classy of person that JJ was, and that he had a genuine concern for the kids who were there.

The second thing is more important in my mind. JJ's highschool coach said that "God never puts a dream in your heart that He doesn't give you the skills to attain. But, you may have to do some work to get there". That really spoke to me. Number one it has to be Gods dream that is in your heart, but second is that things don't just fall in your lap. JJ was a prime example of that. Not a highly athletic guy, but he worked harder than anyone else on the court. He said that he wanted to be remembered as the guy who never took a play off. He gave 100% all the time. I think that life is the same way. I know I can't say that I haven't taken several plays off. It's good to be encouraged by someone who exhibits Godly quality's not just in his speech but in his actions as well.

Halfway Mark

2006-04-18T11:21:00.000-04:00

The beard contest is halfway home. May 20th can't come soon enough. (for my wife)

Following the Leader

2006-04-17T12:08:00.000-04:00

God is so great!
His Love and Grace are never ending!
Something neat that for some reason I was unable to remember was that to follow God, you have to keep him in sight. I got myself in a place where I was following what God wanted for my life, but without walking with Him near by. The burden became too much. He said that He would help me carry my burden, but I couldn't see Him. I had let him get out of sight when I thought I could do it on my own. A relationship is built daily. Thank You God for never leaving me or forsaking me, my life is in your hands. Only you are mighty to save.

Ethan Turns 5!

2006-04-13T09:21:00.000-04:00

The big day is this Saturday. The littlest one gets bigger. Time is not measured by the clock or the callendar, it's measured by the growth of kids.

-Aaron 2: 3-4

SEEING THE LIGHT

2006-04-06T12:18:00.000-04:00

Have you ever had a hard time seeing the light? Where your mind is spiraling down and taking your spirit and joy with it. You know what is right and true, the promises that God has given you. But for some reason, you can't shake the fear of the unknown. Standing outside yourself you can see what needs to be done. You just need a snap back. I got mine today when I asked 6 different friends who happened to be on-line at the time, to pray for me. Without hesitation they did. I felt the love of God through them. I can see Jesus all around me. In their faces I can see the light.

PICTOURS

2006-04-05T09:21:00.000-04:00

Please to be enjoying.

MR. Touch-Me-Not

2006-04-03T10:43:00.000-04:00

I know this guy, for anonymitys sake we will call him Jeremy. He really does not like to be touched by other guys. I have known this Jeremy fellow for some time now, and the amount of times that we have hugged has moved down to maybe once a year. Like when we think we just cheated death or something, maybe then there would be an embrace. But that is totally speculation. If I was to come in the room and put my hand on his shoulder, he would shudder it away like it was electricity, and then yell DOOOOOOOODD. So I wonder, why is this? Could it be that I have used this quirk against him for to long and like a scolded dog he is just playing on reaction. All the times that I hugged him when he wasn't looking and nuzzled my head into his back. That might have had an adverse effect. Although it was HI-larious. After I told him that I was going to tazer him, them lay across him while he was helpless, I thought that would bring healing. Alas it only made the ravine wider. So to anyone other than his wife who may try to embrace him and get turned away...I blame myself mostly.

A Messy Divorce of Sorts

2006-03-31T15:03:00.000-05:00

Ok so it's not really a divorce in the normal sense, between two married people. But a divorce of a different sort. VASECTOMY! That's right, my WIFE made the appointment and I held my end of the bargain and went. I have to be honest more kids isn't sounding so bad after this doctor visit. First off, while I waited, they gave me reading literature to look over. It basically spelled out every last detail, down to how to shave. I actually laughed uncomfortably out loud to myself several times. But I figured Ok I'm going to go talk to this guy Mr Chun and weigh some options. Well when MRS. Dr. Chun came in we went over the steps and how ice is my friend. Then there was the awkward checking of equipment. After all was said and done I couldn't get out of that place any faster. So as of right now there is no execution date set, but the warden has made her threats and I know that soon enough I will walk the green mile. But tonight at my house there will be much crying and whining about how I have always wanted 10 kids and that she is not respecting my feelings. My boys and I figure that may buy us another year together. If not I have a full tank of gas and a car running outside.

OHHH AND HOW!!

2006-03-30T13:04:00.000-05:00

The other night a few friends and I went down to Roanoke to take pictures and go to the Texas Tavern. A seedy kinda joint that is open all night, and could easily fit in along the Boardwalk at Atlantic City. Well a hamburger with everything, which is lettuce and onions is 1.20. A hotdog with onions is, Yep you guessed it 1.20. Parker and I were hungry. So of course it turns into a contest. By the end I had eaten 3 hotdogs and 3 hamburgers, 2 cokes, a water, and the WORST cup of coffee I have EVER had. And I have had the free coffee at rest stops. I blame Pegg for that purchase. Well Parker was on the war path, so he had 1 hotdog 5 hamburgers, and a cheesy western. When I went to make my 1-up order he said that he would pay for my food if I didn't order more. He won. Technically. Needless to say, but I will, when I backed up to the bathroom the next day...birds fell from the sky.

SO WHAT'S INSIDE?

2006-03-28T08:44:00.000-05:00

We have all probably heard our spirit life or being or our heart referred to as a house. Sometimes we need to let God into small areas that we may keep closed off and let anyone near. The reason I say this is because I have some issues in my life that throw up red flags as to what is inside some of my rooms. Judging by the some of the things that come out of my house, I would say that I may have a large room with high ceilings and a tramp-aline. Jumping on the tramp-aline are some seedy dudes. I want to evict these so called unwanted guests, but they are fun as Hell. Hmmm maybe that's the problem.

PURE 100% DISAPPOINTMENT

2006-03-25T10:48:00.000-05:00

This post will not go the way you may expect. Yes I was bummed my team lost but something else came out of that event that I think will have a more profound effect on my life, mainly how I live it.

I think that all of us have probably at one point or another thought they were going to die. A car accident, a mis-step near something dangerous, or maybe even a threat from another person. I believe that these types of moments give you an in-sight on life that you did not have before. You now realize what you have in life, because of the hint of death. The moment may fade, but the memory is deep inside. Effecting the way you live.

I think disappointment is the same thing, but gives you in-sight into another area. When I say disappointment I mean pure disappointment. Where you have 100% given everything that you have to a certain cause or situation, thing or person in your life. The other night I watched JJ Redick walk off the court for the last time as a DUKE player. He had a horrible game, and was blaming himself for the fate of his team. And as he walked to the bench you could see the disappointment, the loss of that moment from his life. Dreams falling down. Everything that he had worked for since he was a kid, when at 6 he told his dad he was playing ball for DUKE. Pure 100% disappointment.

Now his dreams and goals may be different than yours but the idea is the same. I don't think I have ever experienced 100% disappointment, because I have never 100% given to anything. In turn I don't fell like I have experienced the pure joy that comes from giving your all and seeing it succeed, knowing what it feels like to fail. The thing about disappointment is that no one wants to ever feel it. So they do things only far enough that it won't hurt so bad if it doesn't work. This is not the right way. We are supposed to do what we are called to do 100%. Then no matter what you can hold your head high, knowing that you did everything that you could on that day.

As he walked to the bench, I couldn't even watch. I looked down at the floor in my living room.
I'm still afraid of disappointment

OK, so I thought I was going to die!

2006-03-23T17:37:00.000-05:00

Let me start this at the beginning. I was having some mysterious beating of the heart for a few days. To the point that it was starting to concern me. So I say "hey" I think I should go to the doctor. So I do, and he does some stuff, then an AKG. And says there may be a problem. OK. I just figured I was a bit over stressed, but WHAMMM. So they send me right up to the big hospital for a MRI type of thing of my heart. This is where the story picks up for me.

Here I am in a dimly lit room with my shirt off, laying on my side left arm extended above my head, with a lady sitting behind me on the side of the bed jamming a camera probiey thing all over my chest. Needless to say this gave me pause for thought. No epiphanys or anything. Just me thinking about the chances of dying. I thought, I need to tell Joanna to give my dog to Sam, that will be one less thing for her to worry about. It was weird. I started thinking of my death as matter of fact. Maybe it's because I didn't really think anything was wrong with me. I know this because the women rubbing jelly all over my nips was telling me so. But also because as I laid there staring at the wall, Huey Lewis was telling me ever so softly over the ceiling speakers, that everything was going to be fine. God Bless you Huey. The heart of rock and roll IS still beatin, just a bit off rythm.

MY KIDS THINK I'M OLD

2006-03-20T19:56:00.000-05:00

OK, so I'm now 31 years old. I can't say as I ever fathomed this day coming. Because when your younger you basically waste your time thinking about how your never going to get old. Or that it's some date in the future where you will get to, then time will stop. It is strange how your perception of time changes as you get older.

Thats when it hit me. I am as Old as my dad was when he had kids the same age as mine. OHHHHH DAAAMMMMMNNNN! I never once in all my existence thought of my dad as young. Cool, invincible, strong, yes. Young, NO! So there it is. I'm old and that's OK, it really is. I just wish I wasn't going bald.

To My Best Friend On Her Birthday

2006-03-15T15:56:00.000-05:00

Smooth Walk

Slow Touch

Deep Blue

Warm Breath

Caring Curves

Calming Brushes

Loving Frown

Whispering Hair

Cool Glances

Best Friend

Words I wish I could Write

2006-03-10T09:50:00.000-05:00

I have found myself often entranced by a well described scene. I will read something and the words seem to lift and move my imagination to where it would never have thought to go. I think that's why I like really good song writers, and lyrics that tell a story. Leaving me thinking...DAMN! I would never have thought of putting that word to that action. Here is the example that spurred this thought. By the way if you can tell me the singers who wrote these lyrics I will give you a big pat on the back. Pegg and Diddy you have to wait for 1 hour after reading to post to give others a chance.

"Moonlight sleeping on a midnight lake"

(Extra Credit) artist and song, and not very hard. "lights flicker from the opposite loft, in this room the heat pipes just cough"

AND HEY I want to give credit where credit is due. Rayna, a girl I knew what seems an eternity ago turned me on to the Beatles, so there that is.

Watered Down

2006-02-22T19:09:00.000-05:00

I normally don't write things that I don't think will at least be somewhat amusing. I also try to keep my posts short and sweet, but this may follow neither trait.

Something that has bothered me for some time is the watering down or diluting of Jesus, and Christianity simply for our own comfort and in that missing what God really wants from us. I'm sorry if anything that I say may be offensive to you but...well I just apologize.

Jesus is very clear about the guidelines that He puts in our lives. He has put them there not for our oppression but for our good. There IS a right and wrong. I am not about to tackle the whole gamete of what is right or wrong. If you want a fast test, take an OBJECTIVE look at your life and see what the fruit of your actions are. If your life is a pile of crap, or you are always mad at other people, or if you think that everyone around you is stupid. Maybe it's time for a real change. If you are an arrogant person, or a know-it-all, ask someone around you. Then you will get a real answer. That said, I believe that the number one thing that we are commanded to do by our faith is to love other people as we do ourselves. Putting others in front of ourselves, as Christ did time after time. But that does not mean that you can never say "that is wrong you shouldn't do that" to someone that you have a relationship with. The reality is that there are things that Christ has called us as Christians not to do. I know the cool way to make fun of someone who thinks like that is to call them a fundamentalist. But that doesn't relieve you of your responsibility. We don't need to be walking around judging people that is not what I am saying at all. But the idea of "how can you say what I am doing is not right?" Well it's simple, because it's in the word of God. I get so sick of people saying your OK I'm OK, and "well that's OK for you". And that somehow in all of that there is some sort of Christianity. BULLCRAP.

The reality is that our society is totally set up for us to attain as much pleasure as WE possibly can before we kick it. We are completely self-centered. We are more concerned about being better than everyone around us than loving others. That's why parents don't put their children's needs before their own and straiten out their priorities so that they can lay down their life for someone else. Or spouses, first concerning themselves with their own needs and desires over their mate. The idea that we are owed something for nothing, that we should have what we want right now. There is no reason to refrain from instant gratification. If it feels good to me and isn't hurting someone else (directly) then I can do it. The reality is that no one wants to be told what to do or that what they are doing is wrong. But the thing is that sometimes it is wrong. And so in this Christianity suffers and becomes diluted so that no one is left out or feeling condemned. God does not want us to be condemned, that's why he has given us grace. But not the freedom to do whatever you want and say it's OK He loves me. Your abusing the gift He gave you. What I am saying is to stop making excuses for area's in your life that you just really don't want to change. Just admit that you don't want what God wants.

We have all probably read or heard of the book "Blue like Jazz", well here is my problem with that book. It is 95% true. He mainly tells us to get out there and love people don't worry about how they smell or dress or talk, and that is 100% right we shouldn't worry about those things, or hold back the love of Jesus because of them. But just because God has charged us with that kind of love for others, doesn't mean that He is not concerned with how we are living our lives. The reality is that there are things in all our lives that will kill us if we don't turn and face them. But pretending that it's OK or that from some weird angle it's OK to keep going, just doesn't line up with the word. I believe that you should only correct with love not from a pompous attitude or anger. But if you are the person who every time someone says you shouldn't be doing that, you freak out or have 5 reasons why they don't understand. You my friend need to hit your knees. God has given us grace. And there is no one person more deserving than another. Just because you do a bunch of things right and only a couple wrong, doesn't mean that Jesus doesn't still have to cover you in his sacrifice every day, so that you can commune with the most high God.

I guess the thing I want you to get if anything from all this ramble, is to love other people like Christ does. To not concern yourself with little things that make no difference for the kingdom. Don't be lured into meaningless "Christian conversation" that is fruitless in your life. If you are not constantly asking God, "Lord what do You want to do in and through my life"? Then you are missing what God wants and has for you. Plain and Simple. It is not about you, it is about Him. Think about how much of your day is consumed with the thought of how to take care of and please yourself. I'm not saying that you should kill yourself in service. You have to love yourself, but others too. And I'm not talking about just your spouse or kids. I mean the people you don't like, the one's who irritate you. The ones who piss you off in traffic, and at work. God wants to keep you in constant growth and change. But many Christians have robbed themselves of this by creating the ability to talk and go in circles. But if your not changing and changing others, you are missing it. God has a great plan for each of our lives, but it takes constant death to ourselves. You will fail all the time, but the journey will be far more rewarding than ignoring it.

A good friend of mine said the other day, "What kind of fruit do you get from an apple tree?, Apples. What kind of fruit do you get from a disciple tree? Disciples. What kind of fruit do you get from a Christian tree? Christians." Just go ask God, what does He want to change in your life to make you more of who has called you to be for Him. If you ask Him, He will show you. If you choose not to do it. Don't worry, you won't be alone.

SNOW DAY!!!!

2006-02-13T20:40:00.000-05:00

I am sometimes reminded of my growing age in funny ways. The number of times that I sled the hill is the latest. I have noticed a steady decline in the number of times I am willing to stumble up a snow covered hill. I spend most of my time standing at the top of the hill looking down, wondering if one of the boys are going to plow over some other kid on their reckless abandon to the bottom. But I will say this about my growing age. I make the trips I take count baby!

And after a great run I usually spend some time laying there in the snow thinking ahhhhh this feels good. Then one of the boys throws snow down the one chink in my armor, and the other one jumps on my nads.

AHHHHHHHH SNOW DAYS!

2006-02-13T20:37:00.000-05:00

2006-02-13T20:36:00.000-05:00

2006-02-13T20:34:00.000-05:00

2006-02-13T20:32:00.000-05:00

FUN WITHOUT DRUGS

2006-02-10T10:54:00.000-05:00

I recently took a trip to DC with two friends. I realized later that we did almost everything. There were several times that I thought I was going to throw up I was laughing so hard. I was at one point scared for my life. When we realized that the lady behind me on the train, we thought was on her cell phone cussing loudly at her boyfriend, was really talking to a pocket mirror. And I was asked twice by the police to stop taking pictures. There was the silent time on the train when I bet Sam a dollar he couldn't not talk for the rest of the ride. This came after we rode the wrong train, and I bumped my head on a pole to the delight of college girls. We bought records, played poker, smoked cigars, drank coffee, and ate giant burrito's . The only thing I didn't do was have sex with my wife or take hard drugs. But Jeremy and I did spoon, so there's that.

2006-02-10T10:44:00.000-05:00

2006-02-10T10:43:00.000-05:00

2006-02-10T10:42:00.000-05:00

2006-02-10T10:41:00.000-05:00

What a Brother Does, and What He Doesn't

2006-02-03T09:46:00.000-05:00

My dad used to tell us. A brother never fights with someone else against his brother. You ALWAYS stick up for your brother. I think my dad was John Wayne. I think it was his way of extending his protection to the playground through his covert operatives. Namely my older brother, who was known to think that only he could hit his brothers, everyone else couldn't touch us.

I think the feeling of knowing that at any point in a problem you would have guaranteed help. That's what my dad set up in us. And now I have carried that over to a few very close people. It's not always fighting either, just being there in a time of need. To KNOW that you have a partner, a friend, someone who is fully invested in your problem, it is now theirs. I am thankful I have a God better than all 5 of my brothers.

brothers do fight, but they don't hate.

Balloon Knot

2006-02-01T10:29:00.000-05:00

Two words that used to hold another meaning to me have been taken from my vocabulary, ROBBED actually! I am that guy who hears the word balls and wants to repeat it and laugh. I have been polluted, and at the same time I pass on my pollution. The other day when my youngest son called two other kids a couple of retards I knew I had to change. The Lord has been slowly changing my heart for sometime. And that is what it will have to be, a heart change, because like Sam my mouth is about 20 miles ahead of my mind and 40 miles ahead of my heart. But I am aware and I am making the change. But the hard part is that it is bloody funny, I mean Balloon Knot come on that is good, but not as good as "tar star"

Sorry God ... again

MY BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER

2006-01-31T08:35:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Parker.

I pray for you everytime I look at your mug.

MY BEST FRIEND JJ

2006-01-27T13:16:00.000-05:00

YESSSSSSSSSS. I went to the DUKE game last night with my good friend Ryan. Who I must say orchestrated the best basketball experience of my life. YOU ARE THE MAN!

So there I sat 2 rows from the court surrounded by all tech fans, who kept yelling at the refs for everything. So after I had a few yell backs that got no reaction, I had to bring out the A game. So towards the middle of the second half I moved into action. Waiting for a quite moment. After tech missed more freethrows and the guys just got done yelling at the ref I said:

HEY REF IT"S YOUR FAULT THAT WE CAN"T HIT A FREE THROW! (this got an amused reaction from surrounding Tech fans)

A couple of minutes later after they yelled at the ref again, and it got quite I yelled.

HEY REF IT"S YOUR FAULT THAT OUR TEAM SUCKS AT BASKETBALL! (not so amused reaction, we are getting there)

And then last, after another ridiculous "hey you missed that call" at the refs. I yelled...

HEY REF! IT"S YOUR FAULT OUR BASKETBALL PROGRAM IS HORRIBLE! (ahhh yes the reaction I wanted, much grumbling) Also to which Ryan replied, "you are so not walking out with me"

and after a tech dunk on dukes point guard, the drunk behind us had one more genius bit of trash. Take that Paulis YOU SUCK!
Which I kindly replied too at 100 decibels and hands cupped over my face turning to him.

SCOOOOOOOORRRRRRREBOARDDDDDDDDD! (the fans no longer talked around us)

scoreboard indeed!

Hanging it out there!

2006-01-23T12:46:00.000-05:00

Have you ever just hung it all out there? I mean everything. Your well being, the well being of those around you, your imagination, your ego, your self-confidence? I am hanging it all out there right now. And you know why. Because God told me too. That's it! That's why. Because the reality that throws itself up against what he has called us to do is so blaring opposite to what he has said to do. But I know he told me to do it. What choice do I have.

And you know what? I wouldn't trade it for anything. He has met every promise that He has given us. He has always been faithful. And I know that He has a path for me that will bring LIFE. Maybe not for me but for Him. I am willing. My Wife is willing. My Best friend is willing and his wife is willing too.

So we step out in confidence that the God of the universe directs our path.

Hanging in there, hanging out there.

It's still good! It's still good! -Homer Simpson

2006-01-21T17:00:00.000-05:00

DON'T LET ME DOWN!!

2006-01-18T08:44:00.000-05:00

I think that John Lennon must have been a sports fan, because only a sports fan could understand that line truly. There is no way that nasty hag of a legendary band ruining tramp Yoko could have brought on these types of feelings. As many of you may know and those that don't, you soon will. I love Duke Basketball. I also really like the Colts, and Redskins. But as everyone not living under a rock knows, both my football teams lost.

Fine OK FINE!
I still have one hope left for not being a fan loser. DUKE. They are at this point undefeated and on their way to having a great year. But that's not good enough. They need to get it done. They need to win it all, or I will fall apart like a cardboard box on a rainy highway.

All I am asking for is that my dreams aren't smashed and scattered over the world of sports THATS ALL. My wife is on suicide watch now every night there is a game on. For once in my life I had 2 winners. I was rooting for teams that had the potential to win it all. But much like A's in the hole I have been screwed. I am drawing on the river here, and all I'm asking this group of 20 year olds is DON'T LET ME DOWN!!

#2 in the series

2006-01-11T09:31:00.000-05:00

WORD VERIFICATION

2006-01-09T16:18:00.000-05:00

OK I will admit it, I have more than one time not been able to decipher the wiggly text that protects us from the invasion of penial enhancement ads.

Don't pretend that you haven't, I just wonder what will happen when I get it wrong 3 times in a row. Will it just flash RETARD and make me log out and log back in. "I'm sorry dunce that you can't read the wiggly jammed together words".
And here's the thing. I thought computers were supposed to take over the world someday and harvest us for our electricity. But little did those Son's of Motherboards know that all we have to do is write sqwiggly. I mean the war is over man, we can post all of our plans on billboards and they won't have a clue. They are so screwed, what do they have super strength, lighting fast reasoning ability's?....pashaw we have sqwiggly letters...

idiots

The Game is Dead to Me

2005-12-14T19:04:00.000-05:00

I had read my friend Parkers post the other day about his favorite poker moments in the shed. For those of you who don't know what the shed was, it was a 14X8 foot sorry excuse for a building that housed the greatest poker moments of my life. The inside walls were covered in plywood, with playing cards stapled around the 3 windows. It was cold as hell in the winter, but we had Mr. Heater to keep as warm, and almost make us unconscious from his toxic fumes. We would smoke cigars until we had to open the door to vent the cloud.

In this reminisce about the shed it dawned on me that my favorite poker memories have nothing to do with the hands that were played, but the guys that I was playing them with. We once had a guy who had been grazed by a bullet show up for poker. And people sell books so they could play. We started everynight with Hank Williams Jr. On vinyl of course. We had characters there, guys you could set your watch to. Guys you could count on. We were poker before poker was cool. And all we had was an extention cord from the house and a light clamped to a 2X4 beam.

I write this to say I now know why the game holds no magic for me any more. The characters are gone.

So goodbye Pegg, goodbye Masterson, Parker, Corey, The Janey, Patrick, Furey, Samwise, River Phoenix, Skinner, Shane, and any other poor sucker we let in that joint.

Most of all goodbye poker...You are dead to me.

A PAIN IN THE FOOT

2005-12-10T10:15:00.000-05:00

OK... We have all stubbed our toes before. I am not talking about the dingger, I talking about the kind where if your foot would have followed through on it's course you would have kicked a 45 yard field goal. The pain is so instantaneous that it feels like it was staging a preemptive strike on your nervous system. Like there are sensors down there that alert the brain to the certain dome of your big toe.
I want to talk about the worst two types of kicks and the natural reaction.

The first one is the "your moving quickly almost running and you just smash any of your toes into something low" This I believe is the most common and generally draws the common reaction which is to fall down or hop to something to fall down on, then you just hold it and try and pretend the pain away.

The second is what I feel is the worst. You again are moving quickly when you come in contact with a firm stationary object. But when you drop kick that mother your toes split on the object. Causing you to think of childbirthing, and that you COULD handle that pain,but this...this is just too much. The reaction to this is sometimes the drop, you know what I mean. Or my personal preference is the runaway. Where you take off from the scene of the crime like a felon hoping that the pain will be left behind. But alas it is not, which is why you spend the next five minutes staring at your toe,wondering if you could exist without it.

I often wonder why there is so much feeling in that part of the body, like a little nerve bank down there. Like all the nervous that should have been in your elbow skin and scalp are all down there in the very tip of your big and little toe.

For Your Amusement

2005-12-02T13:04:00.000-05:00

Sometimes funny things don't happen to me, which in turn makes it difficult to write funny things down. Which is something that I like to do. I like to make people laugh, at almost any expense.
So I have tried to fill those droughts of hilarity with thoughts I've had or something that I've worked on. But alas that went over like a led balloon. I have discovered that I am here for your amusement. And the funny thing is that it's a cage that I have created. I need your laughs so bad that I can't stand to disappoint. And this is not just here on this blog, but everywhere. I need accolades like nobody's business.
But I have preconditioned everyone around me to think I am joking 100% of the time. So if you don't like something that I did in all seriousness I can say ohhh I was just joking. So I have decided to not worry so much if you like what I write or make. It's for me anyway...

...Well that's not true either.

quick somebody laugh, I think I'm gonna cry.

The Boys

2005-11-22T10:53:00.000-05:00

I have always been a pretty self-centered guy.
But there are two dudes that I don't mind waking me up at 5.
Don't mind them accidentally jumping on my balls.
Don't mind watching public TV with.
Don't mind washing their hair.
cleaning up their puke.
Don't mind after a long day, carrying them up 2 flights of stairs to bed.
Don't mind watching my mouth.
Don't mind not playing poker to play Hi-Ho-Cherrio.
Don't mind when they jump on my bed.
Don't mind buying a car I don't want.
Nope, those 2 dudes can have everything I've got.

Isn't That Precious!

2005-11-16T10:25:00.000-05:00

Well something just dawned on me last night as I was walking into my sons Thanksgiving "performance".
Actually more than one thing, but this is where I will start.
I am destined due to having 2 spawn that I will be going to these shody half ass dog and pony shows for quite some time. I figure once they are older these will be better, just because that's all the hope I have right now.
Then I starting thinking. What the crap is all this. Last week at church the same thing. The little kids went upfront and did some sort of song and dance that made me want to smash my forehead with a hammer. I realized though that I might have been the only one. Because when the "show" was over people were clapping.
Now I understand that the kids need to be encouraged and all that, I mean I clap for speech's at weddings too, but I didn't listen to a word that guy said, I was more glad it was over.
So here is my firm belief. We just like seeing little kids do stuff. Simply because they are cute. There is definitely something about little cute things that allow us to over look the fact that we are only being entertained because we know one of the rug rats on stage.
Look at Webster the TV show, I mean come on. Or the munchkins in The Wizard of Oz. Or puppies for crying outloud. They can crap right ontop of your face and you would take a picture because it's cute. If that happened 6 months later you would be digging a shallow grave under the flower bed.
So thanks Mrs. First grade teacher for your riveting rendition of pop goes the weasel. I'm sure it was much more important than Math, and my Tuesday night.

Artsy Fartsy

2005-11-14T16:20:00.000-05:00

Let me know what you think.
Good or Bad I don't care.
My mom did it so you will only be hurting her.

Take Back The Stall

2005-11-09T09:07:00.000-05:00

I read my friend Sams blog today about his issues with pooping in public. I can identify with some of his problems, while some make me feel that counseling would be in order. The main fear that I have is that awkwardness of sitting feet from someone while you both are pumping grumpies. Well I have devised a plan, It basically is an offensive attack, pun intended.
When I was younger I worked for a fairly large church. There was another guy that I worked with who was quite possibly one of the funniest people on earth. He and I would go in the bathroom right before the second service would start and we would sit on both sides of the center stall. Leaving our victim's only one place to go. Then once the poor sucker was in place we would lay into labor pain sounds from the stalls on either side. Not at the same time, and we would ramp up the noise, starting with innocent enough grunts all the way up to foot stomping. We sent many a Sam's pre-maturely wiping and vowing never to duce in public.
I say this to say that a good offence is the best defense. When you are enjoying the bathroom and someone comes in, make like every man over the age of 70. Have no shame. Start making sounds that have nothing to do with pooping. Heck even hum or sing. I guarantee that you will be alone much sooner than you could wish.
So go forth and poo with confidence that 95% of the guys in there are just as scared of you. But if you should run across that other 5%. Pull your feet up and pray that the Lord would tarry no longer, because while that guy casts out a demon in the next stall. You my friend are front row, and by the way your pants are down.

All Will Grow Old

2005-11-07T10:17:00.000-05:00

Ahhhhh stupid youth. I remember when I would run backwards to taunt the old guys trying to keep up with me on the basketball court. I think in my mind I really thought that I was just faster than them. I couldn't understand that their frustration was due to anything other than my obvious physical advantage over them. Like maybe the fact that they used to be fast.
OHHH how the mighty have fallen. Yesterday was the Old guys VS Young guys annual football game. At our church we have a lot of college kids, so the cutoff is 25 and up are on the old guys team. I know it not very old, but we, and by we I mean anyone over 26, can agree that there is a great difference between 20 and 26.
As I hobbled to my car after an hour and half long game ending in triple overtime. I saw all the arrogance that comes with youth, and thought to myself, between shooting knee pains.
"Those Bastards"! Then I smiled to myself and thought, someday they will be old and slower than before. And since you reap what you sew.
They too will have a pimply faced kid who couldn't touch them in their prime, run half speed backwards and still get away. Not that someone ran backwards on me, because the old know that even the young must rest. And revenge is a dish best served cold.
And if you are older and you don't think what I am saying is true, then you probably play softball, and love it.
Because that's where athletes go to die.

Reaching His Threshold

2005-10-31T12:52:00.000-05:00

Well I now know what amount of stimulus it takes to cause my dog to jump from a moving truck. The other day Jeremy and I were driving down a steep hill going around 20-25 miles an hour, when up ahead I see it. The source of stimulus that will cause Charlie to swan dive out of the back of a moving vehicle. Two deer were crossing the road in front of me, and I said out loud. "ohhh Damn"! A quick glance to the rearview mirror I see Charlie up on the side barking as if to call down the thunder of all those leapers who had gone before him. A glance to my side mirror bodes me the view of him leaping as far from the truck as he can, sending the deer steppin and fetchin like their tails were on fire. A glance over my shoulder shows Charlie almost landing on his feet but quickly going to his face, in no time he is on his back sliding at the same speed as the truck. Then over to his feet were he dug his claws into the asphalt for any sort of traction. And once he ground to a stop, he was off after those deer. I called him back and had him get in between Jeremy and only to find that he was fine with some cuts, but visibly still excited about his adventure.
The reason I know this was because as Jeremy put it. "his Charles Mingus is laying on the seat man"!!
Indeed it was, indeed it was.

Waste of time

2005-10-28T18:59:00.000-04:00

dig my grave with a silver spade

dig my grave wide and deep

let me see you all there

i can't be left alone

what will i do in this place

no one to tell me i'm important

i'm not scared of anything

don't watch me

dig my grave with a silver spade

The Idiot Tax

2005-10-25T15:36:00.000-04:00

AHhhhhhhh the lottery. The minds playground as I like to call it. I will admit that I am that guy who pulls the tab on every McDonald's cup and scratch game I come across. For some reason the lure of something for "virtually" nothing is just too great. At the same time it is kinda sad.
Several years ago I was at a board meeting in a large corporation. Granted I was there as a substitute, I had been called in from the bullpen for relief of a lazy manager, but non the less I was there. And since I am smart enough to know that my mouth should and will not open in this meting I really watched these "successful" people closely.
There was a guest speaker who I suppose was there to impart great words of wisdom. Which in a small subtle way she did. There on the table after the food break I noticed that she had a cup with TWO chances to win 1 million dollars. When she was done with the cup she just threw it away. She had seen the game on the cup. I mean crap half the room had looked at their pieces. She wasn't concerned with it. I think that she knew that nothing comes from nothing. If you want it you have to put out effort for it. She also struck me as someone who wanted something on her own merit. She wasn't looking for something for nothing. Because that one ingredient isn't what complete's the person. That pondered me for the longest time.
And last night when I was standing in line at the gas station buying my 1 chance at tons of free money, I thought I probably looked like an idiot when I pulled that cup outta the trash and won nothing.

My Gas is Low Class

2005-10-20T10:09:00.000-04:00

I want to go on record as saying that passing gas is quite possibly the most timeless joke ever. I have to believe that the disciples were sitting around the fire and Jesus was like, "Shhh Shhh did you guys here that?, I think it was the father" PPOOOOOooooooooot. And everyone laughed except Luke, cause there is always one guy who doesn't think it's funny.
But as time has gone on the gas joke has been pushed to the back of the joke rack only pulled out when men find themselves alone or if your lucky in a car full of trapped victims. I bring this up because I believe that I have been "gifted" with the "ability" to drop a well placed bomb at any time. Only to the dismay of my friend Jeremy. I guess the reality is that he has grown past it while I have sadly remained. This was my mind set until I read something of Sams.
He was talking about your faith being childlike. So in the biggest stretch of theology since Mormonism, I believe that God wants my child like jokes to be used to better the kingdom.
But first I must bring Jeremy into the fold. So later I am going to lock him in our office and have an intervention.
Be praying, there is no ventilation in our office. And I ate Mexican for lunch.

Death Chambers for Cutie

2005-10-14T11:05:00.000-04:00

I realized the other day that certain machines cause me to think about my mortality.
I was in an elevator and thought I wonder if I could survive a 3 story drop. Then I run through the senerios about my jumping right before impact and surviving. Like I am the exception to the rule of gravity. I am that guy who watches TV and sees an accident and thinks well I would have just done this. The reality is I would go from being 6'7 to 5'4 just like anyone else who feel three story's in a death box.
Then I started thinking about other places I go that make me think, I could die here.
Planes
Cars
Porta pots
Carnival rides
Subway trains
Coffins
You know places you may find yourself everyday.
So I'm not sure if I am scared enough yet to avoid these places all together, or just rely on my ability to stop myself from hitting the dash of my car in a head on collision by putting my hands out in front of me.

Why Farm Animals Scare Me

2005-10-13T10:27:00.000-04:00

The truth is, it's not just farm animals. It's all dumb animals, and I mean really dumb.
I think that's why there are some people that really make me nervous to be around. It's not that they are necessarily a huge physical threat as much as they are really unpredictable.
A trait of these types of animals is the BLANK STARE. Like they are not just in another world, but the ruler of that world. And when they do notice you, it's like they are startled by you. This is where my problem lies. I don't think that they are necessarily violent animals, or people. Maybe they are just scared, scared that you, some alien, are so close to them. Now they are cornered, and we all know how a cornered animal will react.
And if you are ever wanting to come to grips with this fear I would suggest not going to a petting zoo with adult animals and a giant paper bag of food. This guarantees a confrontation. And nobody wants to see you punching a goat over a sac of dry corn.
My suggestion is to just stay away.
If they don't come when you whistle. They are dumb.
And that goes for cats.

Damn Women, Feedin' Me Poison!!!

2005-10-10T08:38:00.000-04:00

Well I can't really blame it on her... and by not really I mean not at all. At one time in my life I looked at my body, well my stomach anyway, like a tree shredder. You know the one's that they aim into the back of a truck. Everytime you see one and there's someone with you they talk about someone being dragged through it because they caught a sleeve or something. I thought this was a great description of my stomach, because the realities were the same. You come to close and you may be pulled in along with my french fries.
I could have sworn that my pit was cast in iron. Pizza YES, more Pepsi YES, Peppers well heck YES, 20 minutes later you say were having chili. But as my Pepecid AC addicted friend Jeremy likes to say "it burns".
So I now realize that I can't eat molten lava anymore, and I have gotten the message loud and clear from my body. I don't think it's fooling around anymore. Because if the warning shot it fired across my bow in the bathroom was any indication to the future I am in it DEEP brother.
So for me it is now the life of a rabbit who drinks Pepsi. My tree grinder has now been scaled back to an almost fully operational garbage disposal, that needs the water running to really work well.
So a page has turned.
Well bring it on I say, and pass the fat free ranch, this stuff tastes like CRAP!

A Dogs Life (A morning in the life of Charlie)

2005-10-07T09:23:00.000-04:00

What is this!?
My neither region hasn't been cleaned in at least 20 minutes I need to get on that.
hallway.. hallway.. hallway.. bedroom.. bed..
ahhh you lazy bastard get up! get up I tell you. If he doesn't get up now I swear I will pee directly in his...
OoHHH hey buddy your up ! Yeah it's me it's me it's me hey hey heyheyheyyehe no nononononnon AHHHHhhhh shit he's out. bed.. bedroom.. spin.. spin.. spin.. floor
Ohh my neither region. Hello there buddy where have you been.

Breaking the Habit

2005-10-05T08:26:00.000-04:00

OK!! FINE!!
I am going to get my sorry butt outta bed. I have been struggling with not finding the time to be creative just on my own. I was afraid of it interrupting time with my family which is very important to me. So my wise friend Jeremy kindly told me I was a giant doosh bag, and I needed to just stop being a sissy and get myself outta bed earlier.
I was like "you did read if sleeping were a sport right"? Again he was unditered in his slander. "DO IT".
So without any help from anyone else I decided to get up early in the morning and have some creative time to myself. I am not unreasonable, I realize the first few days will be pretty much me staring off into nowhere land, but with any hope I will break the life long habit of sleep.
Next Jeremy will want me to give up oxygen.
"But I need it to live". "DO IT"

ME BRAIN SLOW

2005-10-04T08:30:00.000-04:00

I have the strangest feeling that my brain cells are somehow throwing themselves down on sharp things. My memory has progressively gotten worse. It never was razor sharp, but now it’s barley a dull edge. The thing that has becomeapparentt is that the part of my brain responsible for names and phone numbers, has been used as a trampoline by the rest of the brain cells. I have always excepted that, kind a embraced it in a way. Making light of the fact that you just introduced yourself to me and in the midst of the words leaving your mouth they have been forgotten. Then the cat and mouse begins. I call you “man”, “bro”, “dude”, or just say "whats up” when I see you.
But lately my mind has gone to forgetting things that I really know. Like how to pee. Not really but you get the idea. I can’t tell if it’s that I am getting older or if I just think about too much at once and lose everything by doing it. Whatever the reason it’s worrying me. So if you see a 6’7 guy standing on a corner with half his face shaved and a confused look, please stop your car, check my wrist band and take me home to my wife.
OK so I did forget how to pee.

TIME

2005-09-30T10:00:00.000-04:00

Time.
It's how we measure everything. "Waste of time", "time well spent", "have no time", "I don't have that kinda time". The funny thing about time is that it seems to change form depending on what your doing. "Times flying", "doing time", "time is standing still". But time never did a thing, it just kept on going along like it always does. Racking up it's seconds one after the other. Well all of this true except for the greatest time warp of all.
The microwave.
I contend that at the microwave time bends for no other reason but to screw with you. I have personally seen time go backwards while waiting for my food. I belive it once stopped while I was out of the room and picked up where it had left off when I got back. Whatever the case that molecule mixing box of hell has had it's last mockery of me. I now use the kettle for my hot water.
But now there is the whole question of watching water boil.

A Wandering Mind is a Terrible Thing to Watch

2005-09-29T08:35:00.000-04:00

Last night I laid awake in bed until well into the wee hours of the night. Serenaded by the wheezing of my sound asleep wife. So I figured that I would no longer try and fight the wandering of my mind. Which by this point was meandering like butterfly flight. That got me thinking,
WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING!
I mean I was everywhere I was 10 again, then I was skydiving, then I was thinking MUST SLEEP MUST SLEEP. Strait into 20 minutes about painting my landlords apartment. Which by the way I am not doing, but I spent a lot of time thinking about it. Then it happened.
I woke up this morning. I got dumped from the ride and didn't even know it.
My brain concerns itself.

The Slow Conquest

2005-09-28T08:30:00.000-04:00

At what point did my body throw in the towel? At what point did my body think it was cool to stop working to restore the troops on my head and go for a sneak attack on my shoulders. Now I am not going to try and pretend that I have not been a hairy person up to this point, but there were rules, boundaries if you will. But whoever has been incharge since 96' is a total nutjob. He has no respect for what is my ass and what is my lower back. The other day I noticed that I had a lone hair on my ear and I almost wept, I mean that's it. I might as well get ready to start combing my eyebrows and pretending that I don't notice the carrot stock of hair growing strait out of my ears. But that's sissy talk. So I have decided to throw a party for hair on my neck and lure all those rouge bastards in. And once they are there I am going to have my sideburns kick their ass and force them into hard labor on the barren wasteland known as the top of my head.
If that doesn't work I am waxing my whole body, like the great flood, and starting over.

Tattoo You

2005-09-26T16:25:00.000-04:00

What really is the point. I mean I have 2 and I am not really sure why. The best part is when someone makes fun of my tigger tattoo, as if to say there are better ones. Like things in hebrew or Chinese, because you know Chinese people think things in English are cool. I really think the whole idea behind it is hey I'm cool I was repeatedly stabbed and no one called the cops.
Is it style? Maybe it is a tattoo that accentuates your eyes I guess. Like when girls have elaborate "tribal" tattoos strew across the top of their butt. Now that's cool.
But I really think that the main draw for a tattoo is branding. I mean that's what they were started for. Hey I belong to so and so. Or he belongs to me. I really think most people are branding themselves to themselves. For self glamour. I belong to me.
Anyways I really want to get another one I have the drawings for it and everything. But I don't think my wife will let me. Now that's branding.

"A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss".

2005-09-24T13:25:00.000-04:00

That was the premise behind the creation of the Rock and Roll magazine to end all Rock magazines. The problem is that a rolling stone's always heading down hill. At least the magazine is. I have the hardest time even picking it up when I see it. They entice me with a rock legend of old, then force you to sift through the most one sided childish intellect in the world. Hey no one said that it was a news magazine, I mean they are entitled to their opinions and that's fine. The problem that I have is that the readers of this publication have no ability to discern that there is a severe bias in what they are reading. I can tell when some has a conservative bias and vise versa. But as I went back to college again recently I noticed that many kids don't have that ability. Homer once joked that "it's on TV it must be true" the sad thing is that a lot of people really believe that. I read in the RS that if Monica Lowinski had swallowed that we wouldn't have to take our shoes off at the airport. This statement and mind set are reeling with falseness and bias that cannot be measured. But you have to remember that "a rolling stone gather no moss" that makes less sense to me now.

My Personal Fight Club

2005-09-22T08:22:00.000-04:00

Have you ever had an imaginary fight with someone in your head? Not like your sitting somewhere and someone says something and you think to yourself later I should have said this or that, but an actual imaginary fight with someone that perhaps you don't even know. This happens to me all the time and the funny part is I actually get pissed off like if I really see them I will be mad at them.
The whole reason I bring this up is because it happened to me last night with this old lady neighbor that lives next to the property we bought. That's right an old lady! No one is safe. Long story short by the end of the whole thing I had fed her cats antifreeze, but that's only after she tried to get my dog hit by a car. This in it's self is scary enough, then I thought. I wonder what will happen when we really meet.

That bitch better watch it.

Little Pleasures

2005-09-20T11:29:00.000-04:00

a cool bed on a sunlit early morning
my dads hand on my shoulder
my grandfathers eyes
my boys lips on my cheek
a silent gaze from an understanding friend
my wifes hair on her pillow
a tire swing
driving in silence
drawing with the sound of a kettle in the other room
just enough toilet paper
the last coke
my ipod

My Friend Sam

2005-09-19T10:20:00.000-04:00

Well today my friend Sam turns 26. Although he seems more like 15, but with hair in special places. I want to talk a little about the man the myth and the legend.
First the he is one of the funniest people that I have encountered in my whole life. As a matter of fact he once made me run out of the room for fear of vomiting. One of my favorite things about Sam is that he is a man of contradictions. You would think that would bother him, but NO! He embraces it. For instance he hates being called a liar but since he has the memory of a goldfish he can't really remember if he's telling the truth.
But for the most part he is just a cool guy who Jeremy obviously has a thing for. Well I say let them be and
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAM!!!!!!!!

Nothing Left To Say

2005-09-16T08:14:00.000-04:00

When there is nothing left to say is usually when I say the most. I guess it's because I feel uncomfortable with the way the conversation ended. Or the look in the other persons eyes. I have been known to make a joke at the worst time possible, but really I just want to cry and walk away in silence. I wonder why I can't just shut-up and stand in silence. I guess I think I am always going to say something great that will change their mindset.
But alas I just look like a giant ass.
I'll shut-up.